Where do you want your kids to learn about life and being successful? Where do you want them to get their definition of success?
I have learned in recent years that I do not want my kids to define success the way the world around them does. Everywhere you look “success” seems to mean having spending tons of money (whether you really have any or not). And that is not what I want for my kids. My guess is that it is not what you want for your kids either.
Success in life, and this includes finances, is determined by balance in all areas of a person’s life. How they relate to other people, what their work ethic is, how confident they are in themselves, and especially how their spiritual lives are will all ultimately affect their finances and are all interconnected. So we parents need to play an active role in developing those aspects of their lives and the characteristics they need there. But how do we do that?
Start by talking with your children. Notice I used the word with, not at. When you talk with your children you are giving them instruction and advice that they need but also listening to their thoughts and feelings. Listening validates them and can give you direction so you know which areas need a little work and how best to approach those areas.
Studies have shown that when asked where they learned their own financial habits, most people said they learned them from their parents. This goes for other areas of life too. You have the most potential to influence your child for the better. The best way is by working on open communication and providing your child with the safety and comfort they need to feel to approach you with questions or issues and know that you are going to be accepting but honest with them.
Steps for Communicating with Your Kids:
Here are some steps to help you open up the lines of communication with your children so you can set them up for success:
1. Listen. Without interrupting, without judging. Listen to their thoughts, feelings, and words so you know where they stand. When you know and understand this, you can adjust how you talk to them so that you can reach them effectively.
2. Do. Communication is not all just about talking. Show your kids what you want them to learn. Be an active model of the actions and characteristics that you want them to develop because they are watching you and taking their cues on how to act from you.
3. Be encouraging. While you have a role as a parent to correct behaviors and to discipline your children, remember to encourage them always. If they have made a mistake, share this and any consequences with them, but lift them up and show them that they can make better choices next time and have positive outcomes. Help them keep trying and keep learning.
4. What’s the take-away? When talking with your kids about something, do you have something of value to give them or are you just rambling? Sometimes we like to hear ourselves talk or we get off topic. Sometimes it is OK to go off on a bunny trail and discuss other things together, but if you are purposely talking with your child about something, make sure that you know what it is you are trying to get across. You can try phrasing it different ways and asking your child to repeat what it is you said so you know that they understand.
I hope you are encouraged by this to start talking with your kids today and working on communication. Kids, whether they show it or not at the time, appreciate when you make the effort to do this, and not only will it help give them the right direction to move towards success in their lives, but it will give you a richer, fuller relationship, and that’s always a good thing!
Tags: children, communication, kids
Happy New Year from All of Us at iMoneyCoach!!!
We all know that New Year’s Resolutions have a tendency to fizzle out shortly after the holidays. Some can be so well-intended, and you are so excited about them, that you may wonder why all of the sudden they do not seem so great after-all.
This year I am challenging you to ditch your New Year’s Resolutions. In fact, do not even bother making them. It is a wasted effort that most often does more harm than good and may even put you further away from what you want than you are now. Instead, I encourage you to put a little bit of time and effort into creating some real, actual goals that you can feel good about and that will last.
What is the difference, you may ask. The difference is that the typical resolutions do not have the essential qualities of goals which are: measurable, realistic, challenging, tied to your values, and evoke positive emotion.
They may have one or two of these characteristics, but they need ALL of them to be true goals that will actually matter, change your life, and be something motivating that you will have the drive to complete.
The first three – measurable, realistic, and challenging – are the basics. You have to have measurability in order to say whether you have reached your goal. Think in terms of how many, how much, what time, when, how often, etc. If you want to do 1,000 situps a day, at the end of the day you have either reached 1,000 or you have not. It’s pretty cut and dry.
For a goal to be realistic, it means you need to have a plan. You may say that your goal is to sell 1 million books this year, but have you written a book? Have you had it printed or made into an online version? Are you marketing it? If you have a plan, your goal is realistic, but if you do not have a way to reach it, then you probably won’t.
A goal must also be challenging. We as humans need challenge. If something is too easy, it is not going to make an impact on your life. So why do it? If you set a goal to do 1 situp a day, what is the point? What is that actually going to do? Be sure you make your goals challenging.
Stay tuned for more information on goals from iMoneyCoach! We are going to do a more in-depth series on goals and teach you how to set goals that matter and that will bring you success.
Tags: goal setting, goals
You should review your Will and estate planning documents periodically to determine whether or not you need to make changes or if recent events would have an impact on your estate plan. This is important not only because it can affect how you direct your finances now (i.e. do you sell your house and downsize or leave it for your son?), but also because it makes an impact on your family and friends once you are gone and can help them avoid stress and arguments because you have everything organized and planned.
You may think that you do not need a will, that maybe your situation is such that everything will be taken care of quickly and easily upon your death. Unfortunately many people who think this and never create a will leave their families with stressful, drawn-out periods of trying to gather those benefits. A will not only tells how your funds should be dispersed but can also:
- Declare who will have guardianship of your child(ren)
- Appoint someone you know rather than a stranger to be in charge of your estate so that your property and assets are properly taken care of
- Manage your property for your children if they are minors since they do not have full rights to property or the ability to sign contracts
- Be sure that if you designate items to go to specific people that it happens (i.e. if you want to pass down your grandmother’s pearl necklace to your granddaughter)
If you have property, money, a job, and/or loved ones, then it is important to set up your will and then review it periodically.
If you have had any of these events/changes since the last time you looked at your Will or estate plan, then be sure to make some time with your spouse or schedule time with your estate planner to sit down and look at them today:
- You have gone through a divorce or separation
- There has been a death of a spouse, child or beneficiary
- You have recently married
- You have had or adopted a child
- Your child has recently been married or divorced or has had a child of their own
- You or your spouse have suffered a serious illness or have been diagnosed with a disease
- A beneficiary has exhibited serious financial irresponsibility, has lost contact, or has changed their relationship with you
- You have either had a significant increase or decrease in the size of your estate
- You have had a change in business interests or ownership
- You have had any change in your life insurance
- You have acquired property in other states
- There have been changes in tax or property laws
- If your executor, guardian, or trustee has died or become unable to act in that role
- If you have moved to another state or have bought a different home
It is wise to have a will in place should anything happen to you as it will save your family much stress, time, and money. The same is true for having a plan for your estate, making sure that your beneficiaries are listed on every account you have (i.e. IRA, 401(k), life insurance, etc.). It is wise to put all of your information together in one place and let a trusted person know how to access that information in the event of your death. Do not leave it laying out on your kitchen counter. Revisiting your information and plans often will ensure that your wishes are carried out after your death and that your family will be taken care of. This is an incredible gift that you can prepare to show that you love and care for them.
Tags: estate planning
From all of us at iMoneyCoach, we hope you had a very special Christmas this year filled with family, friends, warm memories, and laughter and love.
We have found that although a fantastic holiday with lots of wonderful things, often people become anxious and depressed after Christmas thanks to the credit card bills that start rolling in. The good news is that you can avoid that feeling next year if you start making a plan today. Then you can truly enjoy Christmas and focus on what is really important to you without that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach anticipating the bills.
Here are a few ways to get started on financing Christmas for next year:
1. Save up throughout the year – If you were to add some money to a special Christmas fund each year (i.e. open a new bank account just for Christmas money), you could save up a significant amount with which to buy presents and your Christmas dinner groceries or even plane tickets. It feels much better to be able to pay for these things ahead of time than to spend the next year trying to pay them off. You can still charge them to your credit card to get miles or points, but be sure you have the money ready to pay off those bills as soon as they arrive. A good way to start saving is by looking at how much you spent this year. We’ll get to cutting down expenses, but go through your bills from this year to see how much you spent, then divide that number by 12, and you have an estimate of what you should be saving each month.
If you aren’t sure or think you are unable to save any money for Christmas next year (much less for your savings and investing and paying off debt), then be sure you consult with a financial advisor who can help you create a budget that helps you do so, and do so in a way that fits your life without cutting out every “want” expense in your budget (*hint* iMoneyCoach can help you do that, and we even have online courses so you can learn it from home!).
2. Shop the sales – Whoever said you have to wait until December to buy your Christmas presents? While some people will go out and buy everything they want (which makes them hard to shop for no matter what time of the year), there are others that you can shop for early. Perhaps you have a friend who absolutely loved a Christmas decoration she saw in a yard you drove by. You could pick it up on clearance and give it to her next year (maybe a little early so she can use it!). Or you could stock up on some cute jammies for your kids for next year or books and toys for your nieces and nephews. Immediately after Christmas there are some great bargains you can find and stock up on rather than spending more later.
3. Save Up Gift Cards – There are numerous programs out there that with a little bit of time allow you to save up gift cards that you can use on your Christmas shopping or to give as gifts. Some sites that I have personally used to save up gift cards and money include SurveySpot, Zoompanel, Ipsos i-Say. Other sites that help you earn money by shopping or watching videos include: Swagbucks, Ebates, and Jingit. And some apps that give you ways to save at home or on the go include: Viggle, Shopkick, and Surveys on the Go. There are tons more out there, but I know that you can legitimately earn money and gift cards using the ones listed here. You can use a combination of different apps and sites to build up a great gift fund.
4. Start a new hobby and make your gifts – Suppose you have an interest in woodworking and are looking at taking up a new hobby. Homemade gifts can be very special, and if they save you money while allowing you to express your inner creativity, then that’s great! Maybe you can learn how to make keychain money-holders for your family and friends next year. Or maybe you have always wanted to learn to knit and find that you have a knack for knitting cute winter hats. Just make sure that the gifts come from the heart and that they will be useful or liked by your recipients (i.e. you may enjoy building your own fly fishing lures but Grandma Iris may not like to fish).
We want you to be able to feel satisfied in being able to fund your Christmas and to get to enjoy it next year without the stress and worry of credit card bills right after the holidays. So be sure to get started today, and remember to take a minute next year to pat yourself on the back for a good job of planning and saving.
Tags: longterm saving, save money, savings
When you are going stir crazy from the cold and snow of winter and feel that urge to go on a shopping spree, check yourself before you get to the door. Instead of running out and ruining your budget or spending money that you could be saving for the things that really matter to you, look through these tips for some ways to avoid the spending binge and to save money this winter:
1. Re-arrange your house. Using things you already have out plus some treasures in your storage room in the basement you can give your home a makeover without having to buy everything new. A can of spray-paint here and a bottle of glue there, and you can fix up a room to give it a fresh look, which will go a long way for your mood and health.
2. Replace your furnace filter! OK, you may have to head to the store for this one, but maintaining the health of your furnace can save you a lot of money and cold toes if it were to go out during a cold winter night.
3. Pull out some old board games and movies and reconnect with your family. While your kids may grumble about it, deep down they would love to have some time with you. And it is a great way to keep up with each other and form a stronger family bond without spending a fortune going out.
4. Check your tire pressure – Make sure your tire pressure is at the right amount (see your owner’s manual) so that they will function properly in winter conditions and keep your car running longer. Spending $0.75 to fill up your tires at the gas station is much better than the high cost of car repairs.
5. Make sure you use your gift cards – At our house we have a drawer dedicated to gift cards, and we frequently check to see what is in there so that we actually use them. This will help you save money at restaurants and shopping (be sure you don’t overspend just because you have a gift card), and there is no reason to waste “free money.”
6. Use the crock-pot. You can save money buying in bulk, and sometimes this can translate into meals for the crock-pot that you can eat now and save for later. Or you can make multiple servings of the meal and freeze bags to cook later while saving out some to cook tomorrow. This may also help heat up your living space depending on how much heat your crock-pot puts off and where your kitchen is located. Using the oven can also help heat up the house for a bit on those cold days.
7. Costco hot chocolate anyone? Yes, you can buy huge boxes of hot chocolate at your nearest Costco that will help warm you and the kids up after building a snowman, and they are less expensive than buying several boxes at the grocery store all year long.
8. Avoid shopping just to “get out.” Sometimes being all cooped up in the winter can get dreary, and sometimes our solution is to go out shopping or to go walk at the mall just to get out. This can hurt your budget though! Be sure that if you do go out you have a list and a plan. It is OK to spend time in stores, but avoid impulse buys and stick to your budget.
For some more money saving ideas be sure to check out my post on 101 Ways to Save Money.
Tags: save money, winter
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